Slow and Steady Wins the Race

 It was a Monday morning (Mondays. I know.) and I was feeling particularly unsteady, dashing around trying to catch up on things that had fallen behind.  Megan had wet her bed. There were party trays to put away two weeks after the party.  Mount laundry towered high yet again, despite my efforts to keep up.  Several reminders later, Adam continued forgetting his manners at the breakfast table.  While schooling the kids (late start, no less) Luke wrote backwards Ps, an old habit popping in like an unwelcome guest.  Yes, it was just one of those days.  So, I did what I often do in response to those days; I tried to fix it. In a tornado of manic energy, swirling round and round I tried to the fix the Ps, fix the manners, fix the bedding, the party platters, mount laundry...fix, fix, fix. Trying to make all clean and tidy, as if long-term projects could be fixed in mere minutes, and Rome could be built in a day.  But a tornado leaves just one thing in its wake--utter destruction.  I felt it in my heart and worse yet, could see it reflected in the eyes of the kids: I had failed.  Instead of restoring peace and order, my whirlwind of "fixing" had left me completely spent and barren...like a tree bearing no fruit.

Sitting down, wallowing in my own defeat,  I then remembered the prayer I had read earlier that morning:

Divine Teacher, I can be rather picky sometimes, setting up the circumstances and paramenters within which I think you must work.  I can be so self-obsessed, seeing myself as central to all, ignoring what you are doing, slowly and patiently, in this world of human hearts and lives.  The fruits of your spirit are: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  Today I will live these in gratitude.  Help me be patient with myself and with others when we seem to bear no fruit.  I trust that you are with us and know how to bring about growth in each one.  Amen.  --Ordinary Grace

This.  This is what I had been doing all morning--ignoring God, relying on myself to try and DoItAllRightThisMoment, sprinting like a flailing fool toward the proverbial finish line. Like the classic story The Tortoise and the Hare, I had read to the kids a few weeks back.  The tale that leaves me feeling like a big fat hypocrite, knowing full well that I'm that hare.  But God cares nothing for the fruitless business of hustle and bustle, of hurry and worry and lack of endurance. In His infinite wisdom, He moves slowly, patiently, steadily plodding along in our hearts, working in mysterious ways.  Ever-present, never failing, God is the tortoise walking inside each of us.
 

And when I feel like that barren tree, picked clean with leaves all shriveled brown on the ground, I know that He is there, working within me, teaching in slow and steady whispers.

 Slow and steady wins the race.

Though I cannot see the finish line, nor when and how the race will end, I can rest in the knowledge that He is here, beating out a path of growth within.  Revealing in bits and pieces His wisdom, alleviating the need to sprint and scurry and spin.  We can rest in Him.  And on the days I feel all wrong, like a backwards P in child's scrawl,  I know that slowly, steadily, He is growing me.  Though the growth is often too slow to see, that Wise Tortoise goes right on walking, performing micro-miracles, day by day, within each of us. It's all just a matter of trust, my word for 2013.


I trust that you are with us, and know how to bring about growth in each one. Amen.


So maybe there's hope for this harried hare, after all?  I continue to trust He will keep on plodding along in my heart, encouraging me to, one day, reach victory.

 I am confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Phil. 1:6 




shared with:

Imperfect Prose

Simple Pleasures

One of the things that always restores my soul when I'm feeling over-burdened or stressed is engrossing myself in a simple pleasure of some sort. A simple pleasure can be anything from watching the snow fall to baking your favorite recipe. The activity is different for everyone, but the effect is the same; quieting yourself and allowing God to enter. Arts and crafts is one of my simple pleasures. Losing myself in the creative process helps me find myself. I feel more connected to God, have a sense of renewal and come away feeling...refreshed.


My simple pleasure this week has been cutting this paper fern (which I plan to frame and hang in my bathroom when its finished). I just love the process of intricate snipping, the repetition of navigating twists and turns and watching a form emerge from the canvas of white. It's such a simple task yet powerful in its ability to renew. With each snip and turn my mind wanders and my worries melt away. Sometimes I slip into prayer, other times I find clarity and the weight on my shoulders just doesn't seem quite so heavy anymore. No matter where my simple pleasure takes me, I always come away lighter. Happier.

I encourage you to find yourself in a simple pleasure this week!

He is Here

Tears of pain and frustration leak from the corners of my eyes as I wrestle with the tough questions:

Why all of this pain in the world?


How can innocent children so sweet and pure be hurt, innocence forever lost?


How can loving families be torn apart by horrible things...by disease, disaster and death?


Why do people who love each other fail to understand and speak hurtful words?


Why so much pain?

Over the course of one day my loved ones have been personally effected by all of these things, and my heart feels heavy. In midst of all my pain and pondering, I step outside to get the mail. I open the door, questions still spinning in my head and I see this:



Amidst all that is brown and dead, buried beneath a blanket of old stale snow, is life. Growth. Renewal. Hope. And immediately I know that He is here. Here in this pain, in these moments of sorrow and loss. Here in the frustration and disappointment. Here when the hard questions are left without answers.

Here, always.

The Lord is here--The One who endured suffering, pain and death on a cross. The One who makes joy, laughter, sunshine and grants eternal life. The One whose plan is far greater than we can ever comprehend, whose sovereignty is perfect, whose ways are everlasting. And we can rest in this...here.

"Come to me, all ye who labour and are burdened, and I will give you rest."
--Matt. 11:28

toilet paper and the potential for great change

Happy Chinese New Year! Last Thursday marked the beginning of the 15 day celebration of the Chinese New Year--the year of the rabbit. The kids and I are doing a unit study on ancient China right now as well as learning about Chinese inventions and customs. It's fascinating to step back in time and appreciate some of the things that have existed for centuries--things that we use everyday but take for granted, like paper and lol...toilet paper!

It's funny I know, but stop and think about it for a second. What would we do without toilet paper?! Give pause for a moment to that primitive reality preceding the stroke of genius we have to thank for our clean backsides. Pre-papyrus there were leaves, seashells (ouch!!), corncobs, blobs of clay...the list goes on, and it ain't pretty, folks. Then one day in the 1300s some brilliant man thought, "Paper, hmmm. This stuff has uses, man!" And the rest is history. Chinese emperors ordered the sheets of it by the stack-full (This was before the days of Charmin, so toilet paper came in large 2' x 3' rectangles back then.) and never looked er, back (ha-ha, sorry...BAD pun. I'm full of 'em!). And while it took some time to catch on across the world and become available to everyone, the face of the world had forever changed. And it started with one man. One man who had a vision. A, um, cleaner and more comfortable vision. :)

Sometimes we all have these strokes of genius, that light bulb moment where we say to ourselves, "Eureka!" (Ok, so no one really says that anymore, do they? But you know what I mean.) The stars and planets align, a solution becomes crystal-clear and our world becomes a little bit (or maybe even a lot) better. We, as moms, have these moments as well. From tweaking our child's nap schedule to re-organizing the toy room we are always making improvements. Inventing. And while our inventions may not be Nobel prize worthy, they are no less amazing or worthy of praise. We moms have unique insights into our children and our homes that no one else has in all of the world. It is our task and responsibility to look at our children and homes to figure out ways to make it all work better. This is no small task, although at times it feels quite insignificant and goes unnoticed. But in these times we ought to stop and remind ourselves that no good work goes unnoticed in the eyes of God. These small victories, our "micro mom inventions" help our days to go a little smoother. They help bring us increased joy, a sense of order, more free time, reduced stress, peace and quiet. And all of these things open room in our hearts for God to enter. As we quiet our minds and bring order to our homes, God is right there with us. He sees our triumphs and our victories. He, the master inventor, gives us our prize; grace for our days. And our children will be happier for it. And the face of the earth will be forever changed.