Vivid {Five Minute Friday}

Linking up with Gypsy Mama this morning for 5 Minute Friday. 5 Minute Friday is where we write for five minutes flat on a given topic, no more, no less, no edits. The prompt this week is "vivid." Here goes:

Start.

Memories come vivid, like technicolor flashes at the most surprising times. Never knowing what might trigger one, a sight, a smell, an outing. Doing something with the kids.

The smell of lemony body wash in the shower, the one I used the day of her funeral. The one I had bought for her last birthday, 2 weeks before she died, never to be used. The wash we found at her house, in the bathtub, along with the last clothes she ever wore, washed and hung there to dry.


The pickle ornament we hang on the tree in December, the way it sparkles all vivid in sunlight. Remembering the days long ago when my sister and me scrambled to find that pickle on the tree in hopes of a small prize, Mom hiding it so delicately in branches of evergreen.


Playing boardgames with the kids, vivid technicolor memories flood in of laughter over Chinese Checkers, mom moving shiny black pegs, fingertips greasy from chips and chocolate milk. Her laughter soaring loud and contagious, like a flock of migrating geese honking their way south.


Vivid memories. Memories to treasure for always.


Stop.

My son, Adam, finding the Christmas pickle on our tree this past Christmas, carrying on the tradition my mom started

Mom's Chinese Checkers board

Love is in the Air!

I've always been a sucker for Valentine's Day. Maybe it's because I'm a bit of a sap, or maybe because my anniversary is the day after, but mostly I think I love it because, heck--it's a reason to celebrate in the middle of winter! (I think from some of my previous posts you might be getting the idea by now that winter is NOT my favorite season lol!) And of course I love that it's a whole day devoted to love. So, we try to do it up for V-Day, and I just thought I'd share a few of the things we've been doing around the house to make it look festive!


I jazzed up our entertainment center cabinets with a love banner, heart doilies and scrapbook paper:




(We don't have a fireplace so I like to decorate this area of our living room as a focal point.)

Added some touches of red glitter for a little bling. :) This Willow Tree figurine is perfect this time of year! (I *heart* Willow Tree!)

I also made this little bunting thanks to some Pinterest inspiration (pinspiration!):

It was very easy to make! Just some scrapbook paper, twine, a heart punch and...Viola! It's the little things like this that just brighten up a room, isn't it?

Here's the original pin that inspired me (although mine is actually quite different!):

Source: familyoffarmers.blogspot.com via Brenda on Pinterest

I also wanted to use this beautiful paper I had leftover from our wedding invitations (gasp!) 9 years ago! It has real flower petals and bits of evergreen embedded in it. I love it! So I made some little dangly floating hearts and hung them between our kitchen and living room. They're especially meaningful to me since they remind me of our wedding!

Here is what they look like up close:

aaaah, so romantic. :)

After seeing a bunch of pins floating around Pinterest on paper flowers, I thought what better time to try them than Valentine's Day? So, I took the plunge and gave them a shot. I'm totally hooked! They are SO easy and elegant! I have to say though, that the pins I found for spiral paper flowers were a little information-light. Most of them just consisted of pictures without much description like this:

Source: blog.craftzine.com via Jennifer on Pinterest

(When I tried clicking on the referring site for this particular pin, it was unavailable!)

And while this is very helpful in somewhat demystifying the how-to of paper flower making, I prefer something with a little more detail. So, I learned somewhat by trial and error on this one, and am therefore, now an expert! (Ha!) But I thought I would attempt to give you a more thorough tutorial than the ones I found. Here's how I made them:

You Will Need:

--thin paper colored on both sides (or white will do for white flowers of course!)
--glue gun
--scissors
--long branches (to use as stems)
--a vase

Directions for Assembly:

1) Start by selecting your paper. Take it from me: cardstock is NOT GOOD to use! It's too thick to roll nicely and ends up looking all wonky. I would recommend thinner paper (think printer paper) that's colored on both sides. Double-sided scrapbook paper or origami paper would both work, too. I used a combination of pink and white printer paper for mine.

(This is what will happen if you try using cardstock. No good!)

2) Determine the size of the flower you want. My flowers are about 2 inches in diameter. To make flowers this size I would recommend using a circle about 5-6 inches in diameter (I was able to make 2 flowers per sheet this way.). For teeny tiny buds you'd need about a 3" circle.


3) Draw a circle on your paper and free-hand a spiral beginning from the outside of the circle working your way in toward the center. Don't stress over imperfections. They actually make the flower look really nice! Stop your spiral about 1/2 inch from the center. I found that starting with a very thin spiral on the outside (approx. 1/8"), expanding to a larger "looser" spiral toward the center (approx. 1/2") made for a prettier flower that was easier to shape. (Note: I just free-handed cutting the spiral to avoid pencil marks. But if you really want to draw prior to cutting, just make be sure to erase any remaining marks or else they will show.)

Notice how imperfect my circle and spiral are? Just go for it!

4) Now it's time for the fun part! Starting from the outside of the circle working toward the center, begin to tightly roll your paper into a spiral. I got mine started by curling it with my finger nails (much like one would do with scissors and curling ribbon), but you could also use a knitting needle, skewer or chopstick if you want something to aid your initial winding. Don't worry about trying to form your flower into the perfect flower shape just yet. That will come later. For now, simply wind until you've reached the center of the circle.





5) Once you've finishing winding, gently cup the spiral in your hands and release it a little to allow it to loosen up a bit. Once you do this you should find that the center is still quite tightly wound and that the outer edges are very loose. Now you can hand-shape the flower to the exact size, tightness and shape you want.

My flower suddenly turned white! LOL! Sorry 'bout that. I took pictures of various steps while making more than one flower. So, some pics are pink, others white. :)

shaping my flower. Aww, so purty!

6) Now it's time to glue. While holding your flower in place with one hand, place a dab of glue from your glue gun to the outer "flap" of your flower. Hold in place for a few seconds while glue sets. Once the outer flower is glued you may need to add a few additional dabs of glue to the inner layers if they're not holding their shape (e.g. if the center is flying out of the flower!). Note: be very sparing and careful with your glue application as too much glue will show on your finished flowers! Try to avoid "glue strings" by pulling them away before they dry.

place dab of glue to outer edge of flower shown here.

7) Next you will affix the stem. Turn your glued flower over, exposing the base where the stem will attach. Snip a tiny hole on the bottom to create a space for your stem. Once your hole is ready to go, place a generous amount of hot glue onto the tip of your stem. Quickly and carefully insert twig through hole approx. 1/4" through the center of your flower, holding in place until glue dries. While glue is still wet be sure to arrange your flower onto stem at desired angle. Once glue dries you may need to reinforce with a second application of glue at base of flower. (Don't worry, this probably sounds more complicated than it really is! I just like thorough instructions when I try new crafts, so I'm including all of the extra tidbits of information I discovered along the way!)

Don't worry about getting your hole just right-it won't show once you fill it in with glue!

glue time!

insert twig into center of flower

add extra glue to base as necessary.

ta-da!

admire your handiwork! :) (*and ignore the mess that is my kitchen in the background lol!)

8) Once you've created your blooms, set them in a vase of choice and enjoy! :)

My kids told me they *almost* look real! :)


So, that's what we've been up to lately around here! What have you been doing to spread a little love around your home?

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Works for Me Wednesday

Full of Grace

Embracing grace isn't always an easy thing to do. Grace--that free gift. A heavenly touch from the Almighty. The very thing we long for in this world as our sustenance. So how then, could this be so difficult to let in? To be enshrouded in grace is as euphoric a feeling we can ever experience on Earth and yet, too often we walk away from it. We turn our backs and say "no thank you."

But why?

We turn away in fear. We fear the heavenly touch that fills us up, that renews. Fear divides us as we are made vulnerable, hearts susceptible to hurt. We wonder, "Can I really trust in God?" "What if He lets me down?" "What if I trust and fall flat on my face?" Fear separates us but still the Lord beckons. We only need to take a leap of faith to make our way over the wall of fear. But making our way requires trust. Falling into grace. I'm not talking about cautiously peeking from the ledge to admire the view from afar. I'm talking about DIVING...like those trust falls you do when you're a kid--arms across your chest, falling backwards, trusting someone will be there to catch you. That's living grace.

There was a time not too long ago when I didn't fully embrace a life of grace. I treated the Lord the way we often treat a security blanket; spending some cuddle time when needing a bit of warmth and comfort, the rest of the time leaving it heaped in the corner unused, collecting dust. This is not an active, thriving faith. This is the rejection of grace.


It took a tragedy for me to fully embrace grace. My full body trust-fall came three years ago on a Tuesday in May when my mother, schizophrenic and desperate traded life for a rope, depression's end for last breath. My sister's words still echo in my ear--the phone call that changed my life forever, words blunt from shock and despair, "She's dead. She killed herself. She's gone."



These are the defining moments in our lives; the times when we are forced to confront what we truly believe. Moments like these strip away all that is trivial. The inane humdrum worries of the everyday scatter like ashes in the breeze. What's left is our core, our soul...soft and vulnerable. Open. Open to let God in. This is the gift of grace. Right there, in the midst of unbearable pain and the reality that feels more nightmarish than genuine we are given a chance to grow. Transform. Become more like God. It's a tall order, this invitation to a life of grace. There's no obligation to sign up. Only the gentle whisper in the ear that compels us to sojourn for a fuller life. Who will take the leap?


My grace path took time. Months of anguished tears sobbed silently into wet pillows, nights of wondering whether joy was forever lost. Eventually the pain gave way to moments of peace. The return of laughter. And something else began to stir in me. A feeling of empathy and compassion. Almost by accident I found myself doing things like giving money to the man on the side of the road. The man with the cardboard sign reading, "Will work for food." The man with face streaked, clothes crusted with dirt, who took my hand in his and uttered, "God bless you." The man whose hardship and pain I can't even imagine, who stood with nothing and enabled my heart to meet God. I yearned for more. Giving my heart away filled me up with more joy than I had ever imagined. God's grace, rushing into the gaps and pot holes of my weary soul.




I decided then and there that I wanted my life to matter. Not for me, but for others. By a force much greater than me I longed to touch others, help ease their burdens and pain. Nothing on earth was more important to me than doing God's work. It's hard. Emptying out the cobwebs of superficiality and pettiness takes time. Making each day count requires renewed effort and dedication. A life of grace is a choice we make again and again each day. Our daily trust fall.

"God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them... show this same diligence to the very end, so that what you hope for may be fully realized."
(Heb. 6:10-11)

Open your heart to the amazing gift of grace. Leave the dust of the desert walk behind. Take the leap.

The "Winter Blahs"

The holidays are over. The carols have been sung, the gatherings taken place, gifts exchanged. We rejoiced. We "oooed." We "aahhed." We possibly shed some tears of delight. But the season of wonder starts to fade a bit and what we're left with is ...Winter. Lots and lots of Winter. And here in New England lots and lots of winter can be very cold and verrrrrry long. And each year I succumb a bit to what I call the "winter blahs."


The New Year is a time of renewal and excitement. We review the previous year, perhaps establish new goals for the year ahead. But despite all of this I still find myself yearning for the warmth of sunlight on a hot summer day, the carefree days of flip flops and ocean breezes. The days where kids stay outside 'til bedtime finding a new adventures 'round every corner. But the reality of a homeschooler in winter is more like one long lonely stint of rambunctious kids sick of staying inside, weary of routine and well, just plain sick! To say the least the months of January through March are not my favorite.


I'd like to say I'm able to combat these negative thoughts and feelings with heaps of wisdom and fortitude, but to be perfectly honest, I struggle. I have my ups and downs, my good days and bad. This is not to say that every winter I'm a depressed mess who holes up in bed hibernating 'til Spring, but some days that idea doesn't sound too bad! :p (kidding, kidding.)


But I do actually have a point to this rambling post on winter blahs (though I've taken my time getting to it!). My point is this: Happiness isn't about attaining what it is we think we desire, but is about finding joy in life just as it is. We can give ourselves over to dreams of the future, grandiose vacation plans and thoughts of goals brought to fruition, but the way to really embrace life, is to do just that: embrace it. Don't wish it were different, don't wish it away, don't stagnate in wishing. Instead, find ways to relish each moment. Thank God for the gifts of each day--the little delights as well as the big. Even on the greyest most dreary of days when the dishes are piled high in the sink and everyone is cranky and sniffly, there are still moments of joy. There are hugs, good smells, friends just a phone call away. Beautiful everyday moments. If you change your attitude about the present, grace pours in, delighting you in surprising ways.




I recently came across this passage from Homilies for Weekdays by Don Talafous (a great daily resource for those of you who follow the daily Mass readings throughout the year!). It says:


Much of our lives is spent waking up to realizations, learning after the event what its significance was, seeing the value of a moment only when it is past, recognizing the blessing of a human life only when it is over. Again, what all this suggests is that we need more of that wakefulness, alertness, attention to what it is before us of which we've heard so often in Christ's teaching. Think of the many examples there are in our lives of our non-recognition of something or someone very important that was actually a grace. And we kicked against it or experienced only irritation. So many {life circumstances} can bring us God's grace.




So then, might a bad case of the "winter blahs"actually help us grow? Might those doldrums be a blessing in disguise? I believe this to be true be so long as we're intentional about what we do when the blahs strike. Rather than giving in and giving up, try to use them. Try to figure out how you can harness those blahs to seek joy. Seek something new. Dig deeper. Ask for God's grace. Because sometimes in the seasons of seeming stagnation, we're actually growing. Like bulbs we plant in late Fall that seem lost and forgotten beneath layers of snow, lie thick fertile heads just waiting to sprout.

Peace on Earth

image source

With Christmas in our midst, I wanted to take a moment to reflect on the joy of the reason for this season of light and love: the birth of Jesus. In His miraculous birth, there are so many things to learn from, to take away. One of the things that has resonated within my heart this year is, quite simply, peace. In the gospel of the St. Luke it is written:

"And suddenly there was a multitude of the heavenly host with the angel praising God and saying: "Glory to God in the Highest, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests."
--Luke 2:11, 13-14

This is one of those passages that's so well known, it's almost easy to skip over, as we turn our thoughts to more prominent aspects of the birth story. Yet this single statement is so incredibly important; the Lord comes to Earth to bring peace. I realize I'm certainly not the first one to reflect on the importance of peace during the Christmas season. It's a key component to say the least, one that Christians and non-Christians alike can agree on and desire. Knowing this is one thing, but what can we do to help cultivate Christmas peace in our lives? And how might we hope to leave a lasting impact on the world in our own unique way? What exactly does this mean?


One of the resources I've been reading throughout Advent is Daily Reflections for Advent and Christmas. In this little book Morneau sheds some light quite beautifully on the subject of peace as he states:


Peace is not just the absence of strife but the presence of compassion and forgiveness. Peace is not fearful passivity but loving perseverance to reconcile and heal. Peace is not enforced by one's power but celebrated in mutual respect and generosity. Peace is not the province of the powerful but the responsibility of all "men and women of goodwill." Peace exalts humility, poverty, simplicity, service. The economy of peace is built on justice for all and the dignity of the most vulnerable.


I just loved the application of peace in this passage. In these few sentences we have a road map of things we can actually do as "men and women of goodwill." We can live out peace through acts of service. We can be peacemakers through our respect, our generosity, through simple and humble living. By living life with a spirit of forgiveness and compassion we are committing acts of peace.

image source

Morneau also points out that peace is not passive, but rather quite proactive. Sometimes we might think of peace-makers as being somewhat...wimpy or soft. But embodying peace is not cowering in fear or bowing down. It requires inner strength and perseverance. To be an effective peace-maker we must endure as we strive for justice and raise up the vulnerable. Indeed, peace-making is not for the faint of heart. Morneau points out something else very important--being a peace-maker is not only reserved for people in positions of power, but is the responsibility of us all. Each and every one of us is called to strive for peace. It's what God requires of us as Christians. It's what we're called to do on earth.


So as we light our candles, sing songs of joy and partake in the festivities of this beautiful season, let's all do our part to be peacemakers. Live out generosity and kindness. Let your heart swell with forgiveness and gratitude. Serve others in need. Fight for justice. And pray to Jesus, The Prince of Peace, that He may ignite your heart and kindle a real and present desire for peace on Earth.

image source

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What Heaven is Like...

{Luke's drawing of the gates of heaven}

I overheard the boys talking to each other the other day. They were discussing what heaven must be like. I got the biggest kick out of their little conversation, and just had to share it:



Adam: We're gonna play FOREVER and EVER up in heaven when we die.



Luke: Well, there aren't any toys up in heaven, but that's ok 'cause we'll be grown-ups and grown-ups don't really play with toys all that much.



Well, there you have it! In heaven heaven you apparently get to play all the time. But just not with toys. :)

When Your Christmas Season Doesn't Quite Go as Planned...

I feel defeated, like a failure. We've all been sick--10 days of us coughing, sneezing, wheezing over mugs of hot tea and chicken broth. One day running into another, endless blur of just. getting. through. And though I've been sick along with the rest of them, my three sick kids and husband, still this mother's guilt creeps in, setting up camp in my tired and weary soul. Did I do enough? Could I have been more fun? Could I have been...more? There's been T.V. viewing. Lots of it. One hour running into the next just trying to steal a moment's rest. They've eaten horribly. Pop Tarts for breakfast, frozen food dinners, home cooked meal scattered in between whenever I could muster the strength. And I wonder, "Could I have tried harder?" Might I have soothed brows better, cuddled more? Do these three children of mine feel nurtured enough? The claws of perfection dig deep and I'm left reeling. A mother is supposed to give, be selfless, but what happens when the well of giving runs dry, too parched and weary to flow? Will these children feel less loved?


Oh the plans I had-such grand plans! Plans of baking, spying Christmas lights on winding streets, wreath-lit evening devotions, books read cuddled on couch, carol sings. 10 Days gone from this short Advent season of light, love and preparation. But reality falls short of my expectations and I am left deflated from the disappointment of it all.


I can't get this lost time back, so I try to make the most of it. The boys regain more strength and I pull out a Christmas book of activities to do. Voice still gone, I can't yet read or do much of anything, but this, this we can do. We can draw together, color, create.


Light returns to the boy's eyes as antibiotics run their course. They seem excited to be at the table again, focused on the task at hand. Markers poised they excitedly dive in, creating pictures of Christmas cookies and toy shop windows.


Adam, my four year old, runs over to me, so proud of his completed work. "Mommy, I've made mine glow! Come look in the dark with me to see my picture light up!"



We close the door, room gone all black. We look. Out of the dark appears luminous strokes of light. Beautiful simple child's strokes aglow. We stand together, admiring the light of his creation. "Isn't it beautiful Mommy? Don't you love it?" The streaks of light all run together as eyes leak water at this moment of realization, this beautiful simple lesson.



We are not the perfection, we are not the light. We grasp and flail in the dark, trying to find our way, trying so hard to get things just right. And when we feel like we've failed, He illuminates. Grace, this light that shines through the darkness, illuminating the night, renewing and giving us the strength to begin again. And I know, then and there, it is enough. I have done enough. I let this sink in, drinking up this light in the dark. This season of wonder can be enough all on its own, so long as we let Him illuminate. Cookies and carols and packages of gold are just the extras, the icing. But all that we truly need is to feel His love. To be still and wonder at this miracle birth.


We embrace together in the dark, this beautiful boy of mine and me, basking in The Light. Etching this moment in my memory, I've never felt more filled with the light of Christmas than here and now in this moment of simple joy. And in this moment I am made whole again.