Tuesday, February 22, 2011

The Psycho Zone!!!

We all have our days when things start out fine and dandy...everything's running smoothly enough, kids seem pretty happy. But then, IT happens. Suddenly before your eyes your sweet and precious little cherubim sprout horns and flail pitchforks (and where did that goatee come from?!). The orderly house you fastidiously maintain appears, without warning, as if a Tsunami has swept through. The faint sweet peals of joyous giggles like music to your ears turn into cacophonous whines and thunderous thumps. Bumps. Screams. CRASHES. IT. HAS. HAPPENED. That inexplicable little phenomenon we moms don't often acknowledge or dwell upon...

You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind; a journey into a land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That's the signpost up ahead — your next stop, the...

PSYCHO ZONE!!!!!!!!!

That's right, you've officially broken outside of the boundaries of reality and entered a strange new land. Though moms don't often speak of their journeys to this land, the road is well-trodden and deeply familiar. The trip is never voluntary, yet we walk. Alone, we walk. The path is a veritable wasteland of littered toys, dirty dishes and spilled milk (And, yes in the Psycho Zone moms actually DO in fact, cry over spilled milk).

The destination? A warm bath, an early bedtime and a nice massage. But will you ever get there? Mwahahahahahahahahahaha...perhaps. But only after painful hours of child-induced peril. Be brave, oh fellow sojourner. And take ear plugs. :)

Below is the transformation from a regular happy enough normal (ok, well, I don't know if I can go so far as to say normal!!:p) mom, into a mom who has entered the Psycho Zone.

Step 1 : A regular happy enough day

Step 2: Hmmmm...something isn't sounding too spiffy up there but it sounds mostly under control....

Step 3: Ok, ok...now what was that sound?! It sounded oddly like something breaking....

Step 4: Alright, alright, alright, that is definitely NOT what "quiet time" is supposed to sound like! Enough is enough!!!!!!!!

Step 5: You are now entering the PSYCHO ZONE!!!!!!!!!!! (You do not pass go, you do not collect $200)

There's room for one more!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mwahahahahahahahaha!

So by now you might be wondering WHY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH I would voluntarily post these truly awful pictures of myself for all the world to see. And to that I would answer because there's this really fun contest going on at a blog I follow: We Are THAT Family. The author, Kristen Welch just wrote this book:

The contest is to make your best "Don't Make Me come up There" face. And I knew I had to set aside every last shred of dignity and publicly post my truly awful mad face!! I just HAD to! And, after having a TERRIBLE evening with my kiddos, I felt inspired to write about the PSYCHO ZONE!!!! Hope you enjoyed it. :)

By-the-way, this is my "classic" reeeeeeaaaallly realllllllllllly mad face that my sister and I make whenever we're telling stories to each other. It always cracks us up. It makes me look like I'm 80 years old and someone needs to throw me from a proverbial train. But hey, I'm not above a little public humliation for entertainment purposes. ;) (OBVIOUSLY.) And while we're discussing bad photos these are ALL really awful. (Couldn't have anything to do with the fact that I took them myself at 11:00pm by the dim blue light of a computer screen could it?! Nah.)

1 comment:

  1. Haha this post was amusing. And witty. Love the scary mom pictures though. I can clearly picture the transition from cool and calm to the psycho zone.



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